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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The 6 day Wait...!

Its about the vanishing act of the love of my life and yes it was temporal but it was a vanishing act for sure. It was like one day you wake up and try to contact the person of your life and booohoo, you find their phone switched off. You tries to send messages on social sites, emails, whatsapp and what not but no response. You try all the ways again every few hours and then it starts getting tensed.
Hundreds of negative things running in your mind but still you try to be very very positive and  make your mind that some emergency might be the reason for that or their phone gone bad or they are upset of some reason you don't know off. Still, you keep on checking the phone to see the messages getting delivered or for response but all in vain.

So, the story continues the next morning and you get a little more tensed but you carry on with your life. Later in the day, out of sudden you try to call and voila it rang and you are like wohoo , i got it and then suddenly your happiness converts to sadness as the person on the other side is not the one you wanted to reach and you have been told that person don't have their phone and they don't know when you will be able to talk to them. In a ziffy, your mood goes bad and you keep on thinking whats wrong, why this person did this, what on the earth you did wrong or what makes them to not inform you anything and try to play the vanish game with you.

You keep on wondering the whole day with different kind of feelings as in sadness, anger, anxiety and what not. Another day passes but still have the hopes and you keep on checking the things and make speculations what might have happened. You are not getting enough sleep and keep on checking if the msg are getting delivered or if their is some response. three days passes and you are getting sadder as the days are passing and you try to involve yourself in other things and try to be positive as much possible.

A new day comes and since morning you are having  a positive feeling that its the day you will be able to reach them but you don't call and with that hope start your day but that day comes as the worst day for you at work with hundreds of other things running and the whole days completes as frustrated day. In the end, you reach home frustrated, hungry and tired. You try to call but the same things happens with the other person on the other side, you talked and then try to go sleep and to pray that the days should not go more worse and you should sleep. You have teary eyes and you are thinking what to do. Your mind playing games with negative thoughts but you ass your mind to be positive as much as it can be. You try to ignore everything and go to another room and pretend to read the book you are delaying for so long. After you come back, you see multiple missed calls some from known and some unknown numbers. You ignore everything and tries to sleep but again it rang and you pick up to see who the hell on the earth this unknown person wants his worse day more worse and then when you hear the sound of that person you wanted to reach for last so many days, you are not able to speak. You go mum listening to their sound. That feeling is like reaching on top of summit with so much hard work that the joy of it looses. Still you tries to reply but words not coming and you wait to listen what other person want to explain and wait if they can make you worse day a bit pleasant but nothing of that sort happens and their is a eerie silent on both sides. You says good night with a similar response and hung up.

You wait the next day that everything will be sorted out but you don't hear anything that day. Their is not a single call from anyone that day but you go on. Similar thing happens on next day which is day 6 but in the middle of the day when you are between something you see the phone is vibrating and their it is the name you were longing for so long flashing on your screen but the situation don't allow you to pick up at all. You carry on with no further calls and reach home with another missed call and you get all your courage and call back.

You expect some sort of explanation and try to be v v positive throughout with your eyes just holding those little pearls. The person explains their situation and you are like in a dilemma as what next to do. You keep on hearing and then you realize that the those pearls which you were holding have already started rolling from that person's eyes. You are like completely hogged for now and tries to understand the situation but you are feeling happy from inside that you were positive through out and it turned out positive. You feel bit relaxed and the try to calm down that person. You learn a lot of lessons and tries to explains those lessons to that person. Both of them needs to understand: " Somewhere someone is waiting for you".

Monday, June 1, 2015

Pain that reminds me of Gurgaon... Holy Shitty Place...!

Its about that accident that gives me pain even after 9 years. Gurgaon, I hate you, i hate you for giving me this lifelong pain and the awful traffic you have.

It was somewhere in the Summers of 2006, around 8PM, i was going to a friend's places from Noida to Gurgaon. After i reached Gurgaon in that rickety bus after braising the heat for some 3 hours with all that stink ( urghhhh) and crowds.

Gurgaon bus station is like a small town bus station in an Indian town which don't even have the basic facilities. So, i came out of the the bus stand and boarded a shared auto to my destination. I wasnted to reach asap as I was hungry and tired and exhausted. Just after the auto left the bus stand and was moving in my direction ( which had 6 more people inside), a haryana roadways bus came from right side and hit the auto. As soon as it hits, auto lost its balance and i dont remember anything after it as when i got my consiousness back, i was lying on a so called footpath with my phone lying in pieces next to me. I was getting unciousness again an again and traiffc wass moving as usual. I was like, if i go back to unciousness mode, i am gonna die.

 I have tried hard to be up with severe pain in my legs. I somehow tried to make the phone work thanks to the  Nokia 1100 which is like the life savior. It started and i called the first number, luckily, it was of the same friend i was visiting to. I told him that I am not able to move and lying someplace in Gurgaon near bus stand. I was in a shock situation and he was asking  me the exact location of mine but i was not able to tell him. Soon, he hanged up, telling me that he is on his way. I was just lying there with the bad leg and people just moving staring at me. I through to call home but thought, i will call after seeing the damage.

In next 10 mins, my friend found me and he took me in his car and the next thing i remember was a doctor tearing my trousers. All of us were seeing the damage and it was like a blue patch of soreness on my left leg and it was hurting. He soon took me to the X-ray room and in next 15 minutes we had the x-ray showing no fracture. That clinic guy was in so hurry to go home that night that he just gave me a bandage, an ointment and asked to put.

I did what he said and did a huge mistake to not go to doctor next day. Pain was gone in 3-4 days so do the blue patch but that pain comes back sometimes in winters or during mountain hiking etc, not that i do hiking very regularly but whenever i feel the pain there, it reminds me of that night and Gurgaon.  Holy Shitty Place i say.....